Sunday, March 15, 2015

The Tentacles of Advertising

I was thinking about some of the ads mentioned below, and then I got to watching some of the NASCAR race in Phoenix this afternoon. I was looking at the design of the track and I noticed that some of it was cut into the side of a mountain. I thought it was neat and I asked Dustin, wizard of all things NASCAR, about this, and he told me that the seats cut into the mountain are free, but that the mountain (named "Rattlesnake Hill") itself is actually sponsored by Toyota! Here is the proof:

Image from
So after getting over my amazement, I began wondering what else could be sponsored in the media world. NASCAR and most professional soccer leagues are acknowledged as being "billboard sports" and no one really bats an eye when we see something like the above. However, I thought maybe we could help out The Weather Channel with their inane naming of winter storms (like Frona, Quantum, Sparta, and Thor (!)...give me a damn break.). We can't touch hurricanes, because those are at least part of a respectable profession, but what if we had the winter storms corporately sponsored? The naming of them is already an exercise in hype, so TWC might as well make some money off of it, right? How about the following...

Winter Storm Barbie, Presented by Mattel
Winter Storm Bertha, Presented by Callaway
Winter Storm Flo, Presented by Progressive
Winter Storm Jake, Presented by State Farm (From Dustin)
Winter Storm Lily, Presented by AT&T
Winter Storm Maxwell, Presented by Geico
Winter Storm Noid, Presented by Domino's
Winter Storm Peggy, Presented by Discover

And you get the idea. Why "Presented by"? Because just to make sure the American public isn't already talked down to enough, they have to be sure you know exactly who they are talking about...and just think of the free prostitution advertising the company will get if you say to your friends, "hey, remember Winter Storm Lily, Presented by AT&T in 2016? God, that was a lot of snow!" 

Come on, Weather Channel! We can build on this! 

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