Thursday, February 11, 2010

My Top Pet Peeves

These are things that just annoy the piss out of me. They aren't in any particular order, but I do provide explanation for precisely why they annoy me. Here we go...

1) People who go the speed limit or lower in the passing lane - this is rather self-explanatory, but it bears some rationale. I am a lead-foot driver. I like to speed. I like to do the Washington Weave whenever the time calls for it. When someone (like an old fogey) is sitting in the left lane at 50 or 55 miles per hour when the right side is moving faster and I just want to get by a bunch of cars, I get aggravated and that's when the ungodly language begins flying.

2) Commands that come in the form of a question - we have all done this and have definitely been on the receiving end of it: Do you want to take the trash out? NO, NOT REALLY!! I don't mind being given the commands, honestly. You need me to do something? Just tell me. Don't try to be all sugary-sweet about it. You won't insult me by command or order. You will insult me if you disguise the order through questions.

3) People who get offended when you give them your opinion after they solicited said opinion in the first place - shit or get off the pot. You can't have it both ways. Don't act all surprised and hurt when you knew it was a possibility that your preconceived opinion would not be affirmed.

4) The 'Green' movement - I will end up writing about this at length in many other places, but I can sum it up as such: yes, it's important to be a good steward of the earth, but at the same time you will not, I repeat, will not save the earth by using florescent light bulbs, driving hybrids, or using cloth bags at the grocery store. The complete fetishization of the idea that we as people are the problem just drives me up the wall. If we are so bad, then set an example and kill yourself.

5) Advertisements that portray men as stupid, incompetent, bumbling, or imbecilic - we have seen this in many places, where a man has to be restrained by the more mature female counterparts or is being shown as a complete fool in a store or can't figure out a common sense solution, et cetera, et cetera. Most glaring example is the drunk driving PSA where the cars are full of whatever fluid. Every single drunk person is a guy. Not a single woman to be found. Obviously, this must be because women do not drink at all.

6) People who think they are all of a sudden my doctor - being diabetic, I rue the day I told certain people about the condition. I know what I am doing in regard to my food consumption. I can have a piece of cake or a couple of cookies. It isn't going to kill me. However, that doesn't seem to stop certain individuals from telling what I should and shouldn't have. My own mother (who has been diabetic for over 20 years) doesn't even do this to me. That should be good enough.

7) Reality television - it sucks, period. Cheap trashy television keeps on coming back. It's no wonder I haven't watched network TV for a number of years. I wonder how much this has to do with the American consumer. Being in a quasi-free market society, if people don't watch, the show gets canceled. Maybe there really is a demand for crap like The Amazing Race or American Idol.

8) People who wear jerseys to professional sporting events of players or teams that are not participating - there is an exception made for retired players of teams who are participating. If I wear a Mike Schmidt Phillies shirt to a Phillies game, that's ok. Wearing a St. Louis Cardinals jersey to a game between the Phillies and Nationals isn't. When I went to a game between the Nationals and Mets last June, I wore a Wheeling Jesuit t-shirt; I would have felt the fool wearing something Phillies to the game.

9) Students using text-talk on submitted work - now, correct me if I am wrong, but we still speak English, right? Just checking. I haven't seen it too much; most students know better, but every now and then I see kids who don't spell out the word 'you' or they use '2' when they want to say 'to' or 'too'. Absolutely horrendous.

10) 'Gospel of Prosperity' types - guys like Joel Osteen and others who make it out that God must have been smiling upon you just because you found a $50 bill on the ground or you got the closest parking space next to the Target in a driving rainstorm. Hate to break it to you: it wasn't God who found that. It was just the way the ball bounces. Unfortunately, it plays to the touchy-feely way a lot of people want to view God. It doesn't quite work out that way.

When I have more to put down here, I shall do so...

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