Friday, February 12, 2010

Abolish the Winter Olympics

I hate the Winter Olympics.

I hate the Winter Olympics with a passion.

I don't think this is what the Greeks envisioned when they started these games many, many centuries ago. Figure skating, luge, bobsledding, and snowboarding were hardly events the ancients would have foreseen as opposed to running, wrestling, and even swimming.

I actually much preferred when they had the Winter and Summer Olympics in the same year; that way we didn't have to worry about it for another four years. This every other year nonsense has got to end. What better way to end it than to abolish the Winter Olympics?

Think about it - we wouldn't have the sham competitions like figure skating, the NHL season would never be interrupted, and we would never have to see THE athlete from places like Albania, Ethiopia, and Hong Kong during the opening ceremonies. Do-gooder countries like Canada could donate their money that would have been spent on the Olympics to the poor and authoritarian countries could use the money to continue oppressing their own people. It's win-win!

I don't think anyone would miss it. Sure, it may cause some anguish amongst aficionados of skiing and skating, but the rest of us would have plenty of time to get ready every four years for the real Olympics that take place, during each leap year.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled episode of American Idol.

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